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Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea
The Battle for the New Millenium

It is undoubtedly the biggest battle in the struggle for cultural dominance in the new millenium. Subconsciously everyone is anxiously waiting to see which one of these two foes is worthy of winning over our hearts and minds. Generally Awesome Dotcom matches up these two nemeses on a category by category basis.

Tai Chi
Chai Tea


“Translated as 'Supreme Ultimate Martial Art'”

“Tai Chi movements can even be adapted to wheelchair users”

[Editorial Note: this is quite the paradox.]
“Chai is a wonderful spice milk tea from India that is being discovered by contemplative beverage drinkers around the world.”

[Editorial Note: what the hell is “contemplative” supposed to mean?]

Is good way to stay fit. May cause you to need to do some exercise. Tai Chi

w/ muffins?
May cause crumbling problems. Very tasty! Chai Tea

In the park?
Best in the summer and spring. Very good on a brisk autumn afternoon. Draw

For old people?
You might see some old Chinese dudes doing this in the park, but aside from that case, it is not very popular. Among baby boomer generation women in upper income brackets in urban areas it is increasing in popularity. Draw

For self-defense?
Could come in very handy, especially if you learn it as a martial art form instead of just a form of exercise. Depends. If it is hot enough, it might work to throw on your assailant and scald them, thus giving you time to get away. Otherwise you might offer it in an attempt to appease your assailant, though statistically speaking it is likely to further provoke his anger. Tai Chi

What are the chances my friends will think I’m gay?
15% chance. Chances go up if you are doing exercises in a public place with a group. 65% chance. Chances go up if you are a guy and you drink it at Starbucks with another guy friend while toting GAP or Abercrombie shopping bags. Chances go up even more if you are both wearing black turtlenecks. Tai Chi

Well, there you have it. It is settled once and for all. Tai Chi dominates this one. Better luck next millenium Chai Tea!

_______ "Occasionally lame, but generally awesome."________

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