Abercrombie Offers ‘50% More Homoeroticism Free!’

New York, NY (AP) Last week Abercrombie & Fitch launched a new ad campaign just in time for the Holiday season. The new ad campaign hopes to appeal to consumers’ sense of value offering “50% more homoeroticism free!”

“We are just trying to deliver to customers more of what they want. The success of our previous homoerotic add campaigns,” said Abercrombie & Fitch PR spokesperson “shows that homoeroticism is very much in market demand.”

While it is too soon to measure the campaign’s effectiveness, early anecdotal evidence suggests that the campaign seems to be working. Randy Weingarten, who works at a gay rights watch-dog group, says at least four of his co-workers have recently purchased apparel from Abercrombie. He said “I think it is great that such a powerful mainstream retailer is making the public aware of the erotic possibilities of homosexuality.”

University sociologist John H. Crabtree said, “The fact is that many of the suburbanite youth who dress in Abercrombie’s clothing are dealing with issues of gay repression and societal expectations.”

In a candid interview, one Westchester County, NY youth answered Generally Awesome Dotcom’s questions about Abercrombie’s homoerotic marketing strategy. The youth, who is captain of his High School football team, asked that we not used his real name. To honor his request we gave him the assumed name ‘Gay Steve.’ Gay Steve said, “I wear Abercrombie because it’s comfortable. Their marketing strategy has no affect on me because I’m not gay. Really, I don’t know why you are coming at me with all this homo talk, because I am totally not gay.”

Abercrombie & Fitch corporate officers said that the impact of the ad campaign won’t be fully understood ‘til at least mid-January. But should the ad campaign prove successful it will silence critics on the Board of Directors who objected because it was “such a gay idea.”

The board member leading the opposition expressed concern, “We just get the feeling that one way or another we’re going to take it in the rear on this one.”