Benny the Bulldog Enters Gambling Rehab
Las Vegas, NV-- Agents for the famous poker playing pooch Benny the Bulldog have cancelled all scheduled public appearances through February 2007 and announced that the handsome hound is entering a rehabilitation program to treat his now admitted gambling addiction.
"Benny is hoping to bring canine gambling addictions to the forefront. Gambling addictions among pets are an increasing problem with the growing popularity of televised poker tournaments. By directing public attention to this issue Benny hopes to help end the needless suffering of his canine counterparts out there," said his personal spokeswoman Igonna Tossuabone.
Benny's poker playing days began as part of an experiment to study gambling addiction patterns. John H. Crabtee, then a Graduate Student at W.B. Washington University, was doing a Master's thesis probing the addictive properties of various games of chance. Benny was part of the original study group.
"Research on animal test patients was viewed much differently back then," said Crabtree via telephone interview. "Animals were being used as test subjects for all kinds of things back then. Cosmetics, drugs, consumer products, all kinds of things were first tested on animals at that time. Today these experiments are seen differently, obviously."
Crabtree's 1977 paper found that the poker game most addictive to dogs is Seven Card Stud. Later research found that among humans Texas Hold Em’ is a much more habit forming game. Researchers point to several possible factors.
"For one thing the attention span of a dog is much shorter than that of a human being. Beyond that obvious explanation there are possible roots in the differing numbers of chromosomes in the DNA of humans and dogs," said one University expert. "We just received government funding for this study and hope to publish the results in 2-3 years time."
The gambling industry was sympathetic to this report. Immediately following the press conference the representatives of Big Gambling announced a $5 million donation to the Spud McKenzie Canine Addiction Treatment Center, where doggy addictions ranging from heroine use to leg humping are treated.
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