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Economists Advocate Pre-Valentine's Day Break Up

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Santa Barbara, CA-- A study released today by several leading University Experts in the field of Economics says that for individuals in an uncertain or failing relationship breaking up before Valentine's Day is the right thing to do, at least from an Economic stand-point. Classical economics holds that a rational individual will try to maximize their own personal well-being. By ending a dead-end relationship before Valentine's Day (a day of massive outflows of cash in the name of love) an individual can save money, and maximize their state of well-being.

"And after all a dollar saved is a dollar earned," said Dr. John H. Crabtree, a sociological economist who did not participate in the study.

The study was funded by a group called 1-800-Break-up.org. The group advocates ending relationships that are obviously not going anywhere. As part of their mission they run a toll-free hotline where men and women can call in to get help ending relationships that are dead in the water.

"So much emotional and fiscal capital is wasted each year on relationships that are clearly doomed. How many times do we have to hear about the same cliché doomed romances? He's a ballerina in the Denver Civic Theatre with a love for junk-yard cars; she's a power broker on Capitol Hill, who drives monster trucks in her spare time. They come from two different worlds that will never be aligned. Yet somehow they think they can beat the odds. In situations like this we are just helping people to face the facts?" said the group's founder Daniel Coldheart. "What we have observed is that the anticipation of Valentine's Day Holiday creates an illusion that a fleeting romantic experience might correct a horribly flawed relationship. Popular culture, through film, television and music videos reinforce these myths. In the end the St. Valentine's Experience only serves as a temporary crutch propping up a flailing relationship in the short term, only delaying the inevitable collapse."

The Economists cited in this study agree with this type of romantic doomsday scenario on Valentine's Day. Expending scarce resources in such a way with limited potential for returns is naive.

"These types of romances are already sinking. Thinking that throwing a whole bunch of money at a Holiday is foolish. Yet, year after year, people keep throwing their money down this proverbial sink-hole," said the lead Economist for the study, Larry Finckelstein, PhD.

Critics of the study say that even though for some individuals this can mean personal financial hardship overall this type of behavior is good for the health of economy collectively. The sum effect of these expenditures forms the underpinnings of the candy heart industry, the middle-of-the-road boxed candy industry, and the officially licensed toy brand greeting card industry.

"Let's face it. Who is going to buy this junk if not these desperate and foolish individuals? These wasteful purchases can serve as valuable life lessons for those willing to learn them," said Generally Awesome Economic advisor John H. Crabtree. "Personally, four such lessons during the four Valentine's Days of my undergraduate career proved far more memorable for me than many of my economics courses."

To counter this argument the study points to the flurry of economic activity that occurs following a break-up. In the immediate aftermath there is an increased purchase of facial tissue, candy (especially chocolates) and consumption of Romantic Comedies. Then the reconstructive phase follows. This phase is marked by increased consumption of magazine featuring articles about how to attract men. Usually this is accompanied by visits to the gym, hair-dresser, and clothing stores.

Economists argue that by speeding up the relationship cycle the American Economy could increase consumer confidence by double and triple Economic growth in the retail sector.

Aside from these economic factors, 1-800-BREAK-UP.org advocates 'relationship euthanasia' on several other grounds, like spiritual, emotional, existential and metaphysical, depending on the needs of each caller.

"This study was just a way to get some much needed publicity," said one insider. "We aren't dogmatic in our approach to advocating putting these relationships out of their misery. We are very pragmatic."


Related Links: Valentines Day Humor Links
Sad Valentine's Day!





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