Surfers & Wake Skaters Applaud President Bush's Veto of Ban on Waterboarding
Carpinteria, CA-- Recreation associations from across the spectrum of extreme water sports have joined together to applaud President Bush on his recent veto of a bill that would have outlawed all forms of waterboarding. Extreme athletes and thrill seekers of the wet variety have set aside disagreements, long-standings rivalries, and turf battles to band together and voice their sense of relief at the death of legislation that would have effectively put them out of business.
"We are glad to have this ordeal over," said Fats Kahuna, leader of the Alliance of River, Lake, and Ocean Board Riders. "Though it was a trying and emotionally draining experience, at least it brought together a diverse group of relatives who have been feuding for years."
Surfers set aside differences with body boarders. Kite-boarders achieved truce with windsurfers. Wakeboarders banded together with wakeskaters. Assorted adventurers finding their outlet at the intersection of water surfaces and floating boards all came together to protect that which they all love, freedom to engage in waterboarding.
"The news media has only focused on the negative application of waterboarding and this had made many people think that it is a bad thing across the board," Mr. Kahuna stated. "We do not by any means believe that water boarding is appropriate for everyone. But we do believe that in extreme circumstances there are types of waterboarding that are not only justified but can have a positive outcome for large groups of humans."
While congress' intent was to limit the ability of the CIA and other government agencies to engage in interrogation activities that some consider extreme, one unintended consequence of the law would have been to prevent private citizens from engaging in recreation activities that some consider extreme. The interests of these two diverse groups converged in a strange way.
"Not since the movie Point Break have the interests of federal law enforcement and the surfing community been so aligned," Kahuna commented to reporters.
The relief at President Bush's veto could be felt from Langley, VA to the Jersey Shore, to the shores of Hawaii and many locations between.
Upon hearing the decision one local surfer explained, "dude, if they had taken away our ability to waterboard the only thing we would be left with would be kayaks. That would have been a major bummer,man!"
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